Coping with grief

When someone we love dies we experience grief; this is the price we pay for loving. Everyone reacts differently but some of the feelings described by bereaved parents are of numbness, physical pain, difficulty in eating, sleeping or concentrating. You may imagine that you hear or even see your baby or child and your arms may ache to hold them.

Some people find that they constantly relive the awful experience of finding their child dead. You may feel anger, guilt, fear or self-reproach. All these feelings are completely normal. It is difficult to believe that they will ever go away, but in time the pain will lessen. You will never forget your baby/child who will always be part of your family. It helps to talk about your baby or child, to look at photographs and to remember the happy times. Grief may recur at anniversaries and at other times, sometimes for no reason at all. The process of recovery takes longer than many people expect but eventually you will be able to look forward again.

It is important to remember that grief takes time. Be patient, take life one moment, one hour, one day at a time. While you may never ‘get over’ the death of your baby or child, you can learn to live with your loss. Healing is an ongoing process, it does not happen overnight, but it will happen.